REX BEANIES NOW AVAILABLE ONLINE & IN STORE!!

Cartoon dinosaur with a crown and golf club, serving as the logo for Rex Golf Shop.
Cartoon dinosaur with a crown and golf club, serving as the logo for Rex Golf Shop.

Winning Time

Author: Daniel Lafferty 

While the PGA is just beginning to shake off the mid-winter rust, the NBA is already in
midseason form. To honor both associations and celebrate their common ancestry and future
petrodollar in-law status, Rex Golf Historian Daniel Lafferty has compiled his starting five from
the PGA Tour superstars of the 21 st Century.

Point Guard: Jordan Spieth
Strengths: Natural Leader, long range assassin
Weaknesses: Possibly too unselfish (see 2016 Masters).
Player Comp: Steve Nash with Lebron’s hairlin

Bubba Watson helps Jordan Spieth put on Masters green jacket during ceremony.

Point Guard: Jordan Spieth

Strengths: Natural Leader, long range assassin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsAythDzjXg

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6XVgUJVoOg

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa23nP-52Fw


Weaknesses: Possibly too unselfish (see 2016 Masters).

CBS leaderboard showing Jordan Spieth leading final round at Masters with -6 score.
Jordan Spieth teeing off on 12th hole at Augusta with leaderboard showing him at -5.
Jordan Spieth putting on 12th green for quadruple bogey, reflected leaderboard shows -5.
Frustrated golfer crouching on green with head in hands, holding a putter.
Jordan Spieth helps Danny Willett put on Masters green jacket during ceremony.
Jordan Spieth and Danny Willett wearing green jackets surrounded by crowd at ceremony.
Danny Willett smiling in green jacket as Jordan Spieth stands behind at Masters event.
Jordan Spieth stands behind as Danny Willett shakes hands with Masters official indoors.
Jordan Spieth wearing green jacket and blue shirt, looking serious indoors.

Hello Darkness my old friend…

Player Comp: Steve Nash with Lebron’s hairline

Humorous comparison of LeBron James' receding hairline from 2004 to 2016.

Shooting Guard: Rory McIlroy

Strengths: Bomber, athlete (see on-course joggers)

Weaknesses: Regular season MVP, crunch-time liability

Player Comp: James Harden?



Shooting Guard: Rory McIlroy

Rory McIlroy wearing navy Nike cap and sweater, looking serious.

Strengths: Bomber, athlete (see on-course joggers)



Weaknesses: Regular season MVP, crunch-time liability

Rory McIlroy kneeling and smiling next to large golf trophy, pointing upward.

Last Major Win 2014 PGA Championship at Valhalla. Did not get arrested*

Player Comp: James Harden?

James Harden celebrating on court in Rockets jersey, gesturing with hand.

Feed me the regular season!

Edited image of celebrities riding a banana boat on clear blue water.

Cabo Timeshare boys 

 

Small Forward: Tiger

Strengths: GOAT

Weaknesses: Off court shenanigans derailed career in late prime

Comp: Magic Johnson

Small Forward: Tiger

Tiger Woods smiling and raising his fist in a red Nike shirt and cap.

Strengths: GOAT 

Weaknesses: Off court shenanigans derailed career in late prime

Damaged black Cadillac Escalade crashed into tree at night, TMZ watermark.
Tiger Woods shaking hands with unseen person behind a large tree on golf course.

Let bygones be bygones

Exterior of Perkins Restaurant with parked cars on a cloudy day.
Tiger Woods taking selfie in diner booth while holding Perkins cup.

Not Tiger Woods*

Man smiling in front of Perkins Restaurant sign with humorous message board

Not Tiger Woods*

Tiger Woods kneeling on golf course in red shirt, appearing in pain or exhaustion.

Tiger Woods*

unnamed16

Addressing media February 19, 2010 in Ponte Vedra Beach, FL following scandal

Buddhist monk in orange robe putting on golf course surrounded by trees.

“I’d gotten away from Buddhism. And I quit meditating.”

-Tiger Woods

Comp: Magic Johnson

Magic Johnson smiling with group of women in swimsuits on beach.

Power Forward: DJ

Strengths: Wingspan, power, athleticism

Weaknesses: Late game penalties, Stairs

Comp: Chris Webber

Big Man: Vijay

Strengths: Nickname (The Big Fijian), ambidextrous menace, morally casual attitude with rules

Weaknesses: Too dedicated to practice (practice?), short game woes translate to charity stripe issues

Comp: Gheorghe Mureșan

Honorable Mentions:  Darren Clarke as a Northern Irish Vlade Divac, Patrick Reed as a less likeable Bill Laimbeer, Phil as a Daryl Morey that ruined the game through gambling losses instead of analytics

Phil Mickelson in front of background covered in hundred-dollar bills.
Daryl Morey wearing NBA lanyard, holding phone to ear with serious expression.

Quit calling me Phil, I can’t take your action. 

So there you have it.  We look forward to seeing these ballers hit the hardwood as soon as the PIF’s expansion team in King Abdullah Economic City receives league approval. 

← Back to Blog